For the last few years it has been quite the norm for me to dream about the most bizarre of things.
From serial killers to monsters to robots, I had them all.Eventually got used to it. To dreaming as badly as I sleep.
Just today I saw a different dream.
I was back at my last part-time job. I was a waitress at this inn that holds weddings every summer.
While I was working, stressing though the day, my mind kept going to the one person I was apparently in love with: Kitayama Hiromitsu.
It wasn't just a crush or one-sided love, apparently it was mutual, too.
When work was over, I went to meet him. I sat down at a table where he talked to Yasui and Fujigaya.
I can't quite remember what we talked about but I remember longing to touch him. Instead of reaching out to him I just placed my hand on the table and without even asking for anything, Kitayama just took it and interwined our fingers. He kept holding onto my hand unabashedly.
I remember the warmth his hand was radiating and how great it felt, holding onto it.
But as people approached I ripped my hand out of his grip in fear of being found out. He didn't mind it though.
After a while Yasui and Fujigaya left, leaving me behind with Kitayama. We did not speak but it was not awkward. We just sat next to each other, enjoying each other's company.
When I awoke I felt a bit lonely and lost because I had to think of the warmth of Kitayama's hands in that dream.
I never viewed Kitayama like that but now, every time I see him, I can't bear to look at him. I feel slight embarrassment for some reason.
I wonder why I dreamed something that did not contain a figure out of a thriller or horror movie and why it had to be Kitayama.